What changed in 2021?

On New Year’s Eve, our family took turns answering reflection questions I had created to help look back at the past year.

My question was: What changed in 2021?

The past year included a lot of big changes and transitions. The thing that immediately popped to my mind might sound like a  small change, but it has impacted nearly every area of my life. It has affected my physical health, mental health, my creativity, my relationships, my love for nature and my general ability to solve problems or cope with life issues.

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At the beginning of 2021, I set a goal to walk outside everyday of the year, no matter what the weather. Walking has been a consistent rhythm of my life, even as far back as high school when I would usually end my day with a 3-mile walk with a friend. The constantly changing weather in the midwest has always been my biggest deterrent to getting outside so I wanted to see what it would be like to make a choice to enjoy walking every day of every season.

I became so excited and ambitious about this goal that for most of January and February, not only did I walk outside everyday, but I was typically putting in 14,000 steps a day. I broke that into a morning walk and an afternoon walk, and I was on track to surpass my annual goal of walking 2,021 miles for the year.

But by early March, I started to face an unexpected challenge.

Walking is such a low-impact activity that I have been doing successfully for decades, so I assumed the only thing that would stand in my way was my determination. I never imagined that my own feet would rebel.

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I started to develop plantar fasciitis in my right foot. I compensated by icing my foot after each walk and anytime it would flare up during the day. I bought special inserts, shoes, a night brace, ankle wrap, foot balms and more. I was able to rest and treat my foot enough that I could get back to a point that I could walk again. And of course, I would immediately hit the trail, trying to resume my normal activity.

I discovered that walking each day was about far more than physical activity.

Walking was my happy place. It’s where I would go if I needed to sort through a problem in life or just wanted to enjoy nature. My husband and I would explore different nature trails and forest preserves with our dog. We often started and ended each day with a few miles of conversation.

It was an easy activity to grab one of the kids and catch up other lives as well.

I regularly practiced my photography on our walks. I took photos of the sunrise and sunset. I loved capturing unusual wildlife or the beauty of the seasons.

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As spring turned to summer, my foot was in so much pain that I would have to rest more days before I could walk again. I could manage as long as I walked shorter distances. For a few weeks, I even felt like the pain was gone, and I was starting to pick up the pace.

That’s when my left foot decided to give out.

By December, I was only able to go for a few painful walks. I knew the few important days that I wanted to walk: the day Matt did the Crucible, his graduation from the Marines and Christmas Day when our family goes for a big hike in the woods. I made sure to keep my foot rested and iced so I could conquer those walks, but I did so at the expense of my feet. Even walking around my house in my special indoor shoes or walking through a store is now so painful that I usually limp.

Somehow, I still managed to walk 3.5 million steps in 2021, which worked out to about 1,500 miles. I walked a ton in the beginning of the year, and then my steps took a steady decline through the fall.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know my feed is usually full of nature photos. The last time I took a photo from one of my walks was in October and the one before that was in August. Just looking at these photos makes me crave my time in nature.

My husband handles all of the dog-walking these days. I miss this time to connect with him in daily conversation and also chat with all of the dog-walking neighbors and friends we would see each day.

I have a lot less energy now that I’m not walking each day, and my weight has hit an all-time high that I haven’t experienced before.

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As I start out the new year, I’ve been extremely disheartened about this change in my life. I know I need to come up with some baby steps to move forward. I’ve been in a pretty deep funk and haven’t wanted to admit that maybe NOT walking will be part of my life for a while.

I know I need to think about doing an indoor activity like yoga or riding my stationary bike. But the thought of not going outside makes me so sad that I haven’t had the courage to try something different.

I was able to connect with a few amazing friends over break who listened to me moan about this change, and they offered me some good advice. I think just writing this all down was a first step for me.

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So, what changed for you in 2021? Whether it was a positive or negative change, I would love to hear about it!

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