better

For most people, it seems the birthdays that end in zero are the difficult ones mentally and emotionally. For me, it’s the years that end in 5 that are tough. It’s those years when you feel like you are half way through a decade. You’ve hit your mid-whatever years. You are now at the top of the hill sliding down toward the next decade.
Last year, I turned 45, and it was a big challenge for me. I’ve always thought the term “mid-life” crisis was all in your head. And I’m sure it is all in your head, but I definitely hit mine. I was in a pretty negative place most of the year.
This year has been a different story. I worked through many of my issues, and I’ve been proving to myself I can do things better and be more of the person I want to be. I’ve been trying to think of a word to describe this year, and so far, for me, the word is “better.”
My husband just sat down to talk about my birthday, and out of the blue, right when I was thinking about “better,” he said he thinks our word for this year is “inspire.” We’ve both been pursuing our interests and working with our kids to pursue some of theirs. It’s been a super fun year so far, so I think either word works.
For the last few weeks, I have been totally looking forward to my birthday, which is on Tuesday. Our little 5-year-old has been spending hours at the table making secret pearler bead creations for me. She has them all wrapped up and hidden under her bed, and I can hardly wait to open them. Every morning, she announces excitedly how many more days until my birthday.
One of my greatest gifts is that she loves to hang out with me, so this afternoon we spent some time jumping together on the trampoline while listening to our favorite music.

My husband also totally surprised me by kicking off our weekend with my absolute dream gift. Wanna guess what it was?
I’m going to keep it secret a little longer, but let’s just say I’m jumping for joy!