I’m about to make a confession that could be a bit shocking to the two of you. If I happen to have three readers today, then, I’m sure it will be a shock to all three of you.
But for some reason, I feel like I have to come clean. Maybe at least one third of you can relate (which would be one of you), and then I will at least feel better.
A few months ago, I was shopping at New York & Company. (Shocker!) This is where I buy about 90 percent of my clothes, and I do so for a few reasons. Their clothes seem to fit my style, and they fit me. Most importantly, I understand how to work their coupons.
Anyway, they had some dresses on clearance. And I really didn’t need any dresses. But the dresses were cute, and they were 50 percent off the sale price. Plus, I had a 30 percent off coupon. So, basically, I bought a dress for $16.
A few months later, I wanted to wear the dress. But I needed a little sweater to go over the top. I didn’t want a big bulky sweater. I really just wanted a shrug. A girl knows when she needs a sweater and when she needs a shrug.
Well, at this point, stores were replacing all of the summer clothes with fall clothes, and, as you both know, the shrug isn’t really a fall sweater. But MIRACULOUSLY, I found a shrug in You Know Where and it was the right color.
The only problem was that the shrug was not on sale. It was $29. That is $29 for a little piece of knitted fabric designed to cover my shoulders. So, of course I did not buy the $29 shrug to wear with the $16 dress.
Until two days later.
That’s when I gave up on finding a shrug that was cheaper than the dress and gave in to the fact that if I was ever going to wear the $16 dress, I would have to buy the $29 shrug. That is a simple mathematical equation, but one that is not always easy to solve the first time.
At this point, I had a coupon to save $30 off my purchase of $70. I needed some new jeans and all of the jeans were buy one, get one half off. So, basically, I could get a good deal on jeans and get the shrug for free. Right?
So, I carefully calculated my order to make sure I didn’t go too much beyond $70. But alas, when I went to check out, I had actually spent $80. There was a second offer attached to my first coupon, and this one was to get $70 off my purchase of $150. When the cashier pointed this out to me, I quickly refused. I WILL NOT BUY ANYTHING ELSE! I know their tricks.
But then, I did the math. And I realized that if I purchased $150 worth of clothes, I would only spend $80, which was the same amount I was spending anyway.
I reluctantly wandered around the store trying to find another $70 worth of stuff so I could get it for free. I added two shirts and a scarf to my pile and headed back to the check out.
Now I was good to go. I had my $16 dress, plus the shrug I needed to wear it, along with two pairs of jeans, two shirts and a scarf. I was set.
However, I realized I needed a new female undergarment, which shall remain nameless because I already attract enough spam to my blog, and I don’t want more. I headed to Kohls (without a coupon, I will add) and spent way too much on the undergarment. And I will not admit here, because it would sound ridiculous, that there was a long, short-sleeved sweater that is absolutely perfect for early fall that would look great with those new jeans I just bought, and I might or might not have purchased that, too.
I was totally ready now. I had the $16 dress, the shrug, two pairs of jeans, two shirts, a scarf, an undergarment and, maybe, a sweater.
Thankfully, I already had shoes.
The only thing I could possibly need now would be a necklace. So, I headed to my favorite jewelry store, Charming Charlie. I walked straight to the color-coded section required for my particular dress without looking to the right or left at anything else. OK. I can’t lie. I did try on a sweater in there, as well, but I PROMISE I did not buy this one, even though it was long and the exact color… OK, nevermind.
I found a necklace. It was only $12. (That is LESS than the dress, I might add.) But I wasn’t sure how the necklace was going to look with the dress. And there was another necklace that might be the perfect one. And it was only $12. And what if I got the wrong one, drove all the way home, and realized I had not purchased the correct necklace. So, of course, I had to get both. And it’s a good thing because the one I wasn’t going to buy was actually the right one.
Now, I was good.
I had the dress. The shrug. Two pairs of jeans. Two shirts. A scarf. An undergarment. A sweater. And two necklaces.
I was ready to wear that $16 dress.
And I know this has never happened to anyone else but me. So, if you leave me a comment and try to tell me that you can sympathize or relate, I will know it’s only to make me feel better.
And please remind me that if I EVER see a dress on sale for $16 to RUN!